Many of you might be familiar with changing diapers frequently, and if you know me might have already heard the 5 diaper incident story. First let me preface it with this:

Most parents know of the trials and tribulations involved with diaper changes. Well, I’m new to it all and my indoctrination to it was a bit, lets say, crappy. Zoe, God bless her, takes after her old man, especially in the gastro-intestinal area.

So Zoe starts to fuss, and I whisk her away to her changing table, ready to get down to work. Anyway, there I was, confident, feeling secure in my newly acquired diaper changing skills. After all, I had already changed 4 of hers and it seemed like a snap. Apparently, I was still a rookie right out of the shoot, which is exactly what I was greeted with upon removal of diaper. Little wet, but the doctor says thats normal. Wipe, wipe. All better.

I gently slide diaper #1 under her bum and am immediately presented with another mini-duece, courtesy of my favorite daughter. Little wet, no issue, wipe wipe, slide on diaper #2 – done. Wrong! apparently there is some type of urinary reflex that I was warned about when wiping up with a heated wipe (yes, Mom purchased a wipe warmer for her) but hardly took the time to ponder, until it was running over my hand. Bam, there goes #2 here comes #3. Clean, fresh, dry, dirty, wet – OUCH! More? where did that come from? you stopped already, it was over, or so I thought. Fine, goodbye to #3, hello #4. I paused for about 1 minute, just to be sure we were out of the woods.

Alright, at this point, I am literally thinking “this is unbeleiveable, it couldn’t get any worse.” As if Zoe’s vocal cords had a sudden growth spurt, and she taunted me “Oh, yes it can Daddy!” Here comes a quick spurt, like when the shake machine runs out at McDonald’s but is still trying. All over Daddy’s hand. I love my little poop machine. Ok, feeling as though this incident wouldn’t end before my diaper supply did, I waited another minute. good, nothing, no more, please?!?!!?!?

Zoe decided to let me off the hook at 5, wow, a record, but remember: Records are made to be broken. And knowing that Zoe shares in my digestinal ways, it wont be too long…

Categories: Rantings
1 Comment »