I came up with a, let’s say, ingenius idea about how to circumvent paying the exorbitant price for the new “paycheck-imil” formula we now have Zoe on. She is already showing signs of improvement (poop) by the way, thanks for wondering.

Anyhow, the SafeWay robbery idea didn’t pan out. I chickened out in the parking lot. Wimp. Coulda been great, a proverbial Similac crime spree to cover the entire southwest proper! Oh, well – maybe if this idea doesnt work out, Ill revisit plan A. Enough banter, here it is:

Since the new formula costs roughly $20 a shot glass full, and a doctor’s visit copay is only $15 (and includes a can of formula), well you do the math. Plus we get free medical advise ON TOP of the formula. If you know the Oldenburgs then you know that mysterious aliments are part of our daily lives. We could come up with all kinds of crap, once a week, just to get in. Once we are there, we hit him up for the formula, make up some bull-pucky and be gone! GENIUS!!

Oh, and in case you didnt know, the pediatricians give out small amounts of baby formula to unsuspecting new parents, tantamount to a crack dealer giving you the first rock for free. Hey you, check this out, its great! Who me? Yeah you, you gotta try this stuff. Well, how much is it? Don’t worry about it man, I got you covered. —> All too familiar.

Well now its my turn to strike back.

If you’ve seen that email going around about the sheik in Saudi Arabia with all the pictures of his vast mansion and silver car, well, I have news for you, that’s no shiek who owns all that. It belongs to the CEO of Similac. Bet on it.

Categories: Rantings
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