This picture pretty much sums up who’s leading who around and who is in charge….

* WPG2 CANNOT LOCATE GALLERY2 ITEM ID 1097 *

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Have you seen the movie Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome? If not, you might not get the rest of this post….

Zoe loves to be carried around up high. Sometimes she will cry hysterically if you just hold her so all she can see is up. If you lift her up and carry her over your shoulder, so she can see things, she’s happy as a pig in mud. Kris and I got her a papoose before she was born and I decided to use it today for the first time. Wow, she loved it. Too much, I think. I carried her around in it and walked around the block. She had a blast! I went back in the house, sat down for a minute, and she started to cry again. I got back up and walked around with her some more, and she loved it. We went around the neighborhood and met a neighbor who is pregnant with twins (congratulations!) and she was FANTASTIC the whole time. As soon as we got home and I set her down the fussiness started up. Momma had just gotten home from the gym and took a picture of us.

I got to thinking, we are just like Master Blaster from the movie. I am the big dummy (Blaster) that walks around at the direction of Zoe, the little brains of the operation (Master). Where she go, I go. No food?, EMBARGO! Dirty diaper? EMBARGO!

* WPG2 CANNOT LOCATE GALLERY2 ITEM ID 1079 *

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On Friday night at about 9:30pm Brandon and I went to the video store and left Zoe with Papa. While out, we decided to go to Jack-in-the Box and get a shake. After placing our order I received a call, on my cell, from Papa (we had only been gone about 15 minutes). “Where are you!” he demanded. “Zoe is crying and she won’t stop. You have to come home now!” I explained to Papa we were in the drive-thru and I would be home asap…Seconds later my cell rings again. This time ALL I hear is Zoe…and she is screaming!!! Then silence as the Papa hung up, Nice!

With two cars behind us and two cars in front of us all we could do is sit and wait, which we did. Finally after getting our order, which was wrong, we raced home! As I am driving down the street, up to the house, I see the Papa. Papa is standing in the driveway with Zoe, who is still screaming. Papa hands me Zoe, almost before I get the car into park.

Zoe immediately stops crying and Papa tells me “You can never leave her again.” Papa told me he even tried to show Zoe a picture of me on the computer to get her to stop crying, but nothing worked. I don’t know who was crying harder, Papa or Zoe.

If you don’t hear from the Mama again it’s because Papa has gone crazy and revoked my blogging privileges with my other freedoms….

MAMA

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* WPG2 CANNOT LOCATE GALLERY2 ITEM ID 1034 *Wow! I cant believe that it has been two months since Zoe was born. What an interesting two months. I have seen some really neat advancements in her behavior and look forward to many more as she gets older. I am dreading the 2 month visit with the doctor. Apparently, she get 4 shots, OUCH! I told Kris that I am not going to go to the appointment because I don’t know if I can handle seeing her cry in pain. Kris told me “Just wait ’til she is sick for the first time!” Fine. I’ll wait.

I got sprayed in the face with peeper spray as part of a training class today, and it felt like my face was on fire for about 45 minutes. I told my buddy Josh, who was in the class with me, that if I could choose between the seeing Zoe cry in pain and getting sprayed in the face with the pepper spray, I’d take the spray every time.

Anyway, These two months have been absolutely AWESOME. Every day she gets bigger and changes. I went to Vegas for 4 days and when I came back, she already looked different to me. All the adjustments, lack of sleep and frustration has been worth it – 100%. I know there is PLENTY more ahead, but I’ll take the good with the bad. Yesterday at work I ran into a guy I worked with in the Central City Precinct about 10 years ago and he told me that his son, who I met at a squad party way back then, has been a Phoenix officer for 2 years. I told him how time flew and he said, spend as much time with her as you can because they grow up so fast. I beleive him. I gotta go, gotta go spend some time with her.

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* WPG2 CANNOT LOCATE GALLERY2 ITEM ID 1028 *Today Mama took me to see Grandma at her work. Grandma works at AJ’s Fine Foods in Scottsdale, it was a long drive…When I arrived the boss Eddie Basha also arrived. Mama kidded Grandma and told her BOTH her bosses (ME and EDDIE) were in the store at the same time!!! What a coincidence!
Mr. Basha was very nice and he even came over to talk to Mama and Grandma (He said I was very cute!)….They should have taken a picture of me and Eddie.
The day was a special day cuz it was Mama and Papa’s 4th Wedding Anniversary!!! It was a good day for me cuz I got to take a trip and see my Grandma.

ZOE

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For those of you who know me, you might know that one of my favorite movies (comedy genre) of all time is “Raising Arizona“. During this movie, there’s a scene where the character Evelle Snoats exclaims “he smiled at me!” referring to the kidnapped baby boy H.I. Junior. From that point forward Evelle was hooked and made his brother Gale promise that they would never leave H.I. Junior again. Just watch the damn movie.

I never really understood, though I thought I did at the time, the power of a smile. Especially one from your own daughter. I know that everyone out there who has kids knows all about this. Sorry to explain what you already know but I know some of you don’t have kids and just dont know, as I didn’t – until know. I’m 36 year old and I have a pretty damn good sense of humor, some people (the ones who don’t just think I’m weird) think I am a pretty funny guy.

All my years I’ve tried really hard to make people laugh at any possible occasion and loved every minute of it. Very satisfying. Not nearly as satisfying as what happened last night with Zoe. And I didn’t have to do a thing, just be there with her.

I was harnessing my inner sloth, sitting watching American Chopper, while Kris went to the gym. Just Zoe and me. She was lying in my arms half asleep. I decided to try to lay her down on the couch so I could get up and get a soda pop. I put her down and got my pop. I sat back down and did’nt pay her much attention. After all, she wasn’t fussing at all. I was watching the show somethng told me too look down at her.

I looked down and she had cracked a little smile. Wow, how cool. I turned completely around and knelt down in front of her. I smiled back and as I did so, she looked my right in the eye and her little smile turned into a big smile, then a coo ,then a giggle. WOW! I couldn’t beleieve it. It absolutely stole my heart. I began to tear up with joy. I was in heaven, just based on a smile and giggle from my daughter. I consciously told myself to not forget this moment. I know that it will probably fade in time but I will try my best not to forget.

Unbelieveable. I never knew. All this time I had missed out on this simple joy in life. I guess I could tell you all day long and unless you’ve experienced it, you’ll never know. The only way to truly understand is to experience it first hand.

So for all those parents who have kids who are older, and might be having trouble with them or whatever, try to remember that moment long ago when they had that first perfect connection with your child through the power of a smile.

She smiled at me!

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I know that most of the stories I post here have a humorous twist to them but unfortunately this one does not. I want to tell you guys about how helpless I felt last night, to the point of tears. The report I received from Kris upon my return from work was that Zoe was kinda fussy all day, short cat naps here and there, not taking her usual 5 ounces of formula, not her usual self.

Kris had just left to go for a run after she fed Zoe and I stayed and watched her. She was playing on her new play center that Kris bought her. It’s pretty cool and has a boat theme with fish and what not. Zoe played fine there for about 10 minutes and eventually pooped. So I changed her. I laid her back down and she immediately was unhappy. She started to cry in a way I had not heard her cry before, not her usual “I’m hungry” cry, like she was in pain. I tried everything I knew to get her to stop. Picked her up, rocked her, gave her a binky, nothing worked.

This went on for about 15 minutes. I was absolutely beside myself. I had my daughter in my arms, screaming, and I could not help her. Before you know it we were both crying. Some father I was. I couldn’t help my own daughter to feel better. I have felt crappy in the past about no being able to help people or letting them down but never like this. I hit me to the core. I was an emotional wreck. It sucked, bad. I felt absolutely helpless. If I can’t help my daughter feel better, who can?

Of course, it turned out that she was just hungry. I made her a bottle and she drank it down like a Freshman guzzling a beer at a frat party. It was just weird that she was screaming bloody murder over being hungry. I think it had to do with her not feeling quite right all day. After Kris got home I told her what happened. She felt bad for me. Its funny how this stuff happens when my partner (and favorite security blanket) is inaccessible.

All is better now and she slept about 6.5 hours last night.

I love my daughter.

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Zoe showed me how she felt about me going to Las Vegas for a few days when I got home yesterday.Before I get to that, let me just tell you – I was so excited to see her, and Kris suprised me by meeting me at the airport with her. It was GREAT! I could not believe how much I missed my daughter. Iwas away from her for about 2 days before I hated being apart from her. I did go to Vegas on psuedo-business so don’t give me a hard time.

Anyway, I get home after Kris picks me up at Sky Harbor, and Zoe is kinda hungry. I volunteer to feed her because I handt in 3 days. Momma heated up a bottle as I sat on the couch with her and got ready to give her the good stuff. Bottle’s done, lets go.

Zoe eats and loves every minute of it, but has a funny little habit of getting rid of the old meal whilst eating the new one. And she’s funny about it. Very expression filled sessions. Zoe starts pooping and when she’s lying on my lap, I can hear it and feel it when she poops. The second round came and I told Kris (who was standing over me, making sure I did’nt mess up the feeding) “I felt that one on my hip!” And I also exclaimed that the odor was strobger than I remembered. Kris started to laugh out loud as she looked down at me. I soon realized that Zoe had breached the diaper gathers and pooped directly on my shorts. Momma could’nt stop laughing. Neither could I.

I guess that was my little Zoe’s way of telling me how she felt about me leaving her for Vegas.

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* WPG2 CANNOT LOCATE GALLERY2 ITEM ID 1012 *My Daddy went to Las Vegas and left me with Mommy for 4 days. I tried to stow away in his suit case… Mommy did not mind that Daddy went, but we missed him very much. What happens in Vegas can stay in Vegas, just as long as my Daddy doesn’t!!!!

Zoe

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Kris tricked me. It was a dirty trick, literally, and you’ll see why in a few minutes. I came home from work yeaterday, kinda as usual, status quo. I played with Zoe for a few seconds (oops I mean minutes) and gave her to Kris as soon as she started to fuss. I had just finished a 4 mile run at work and I literally stunk – BAD. So anyway, I think Zoe smelled my foulness right away and wanted to go to sweet smelling Momma. So I hand her off and tell momma that she was a bit fussy. Momma told me that she might have a wet diaper ’cause it had been a little while siunce Kris changed her last. I told her OK. Unfortunately, I was mesmerized by my computer, as usual, and forgot completely about Zoe, Kris, and just about anything that did not exist withing the 19 inches of my monitor. Kris will attest to you that this is typical and, frankly, I have no rebuttal.

So I here this baby voice from the family room “Daddy, I think I need my diaper changed” (Kris doing her best to imitate Zoe’s future voice). I immediately sprung up. She could have said “Eric” a thousandtimes and I would not have even heard it once, but say “Daddy” and I spring to life. Go figure.

Anyway, I jump up, drop what I was doing and whisk Zoe off to the changing table. Like a swimmer from any random Jaws flick, I swam into the diaper ocean with reckless abandon and even a bit of comfort, not knowing the sheer terror of what lurks under the deeps of Zoe’s diaper. Dunna, dunna, dunta, dunta, dunta dunnunaaaa!! (Jaws theme) I unsnap the onsie, pee back the diapers taps and — INSERT SHRIEK HERE — Attacked by the lurking poop shark swimming in the depths, lurking, waiting, hiding, maksed by my own rotten odor. I snap my head to yell at Kris in the family room but see her in the doorway, like Ashton Kutcher from PUNKD! pointing and laughing.

She got me good, and apparently heard the blast doors behind Zoe’s diaper sound off that a charge had been planted, while sitting in the living room, but failed to tell me before I lurked into the deep ocean.

Like swimming with sharks over here, and no one to hear my screams, except you guys! HELP!!!

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