I know that most of the stories I post here have a humorous twist to them but unfortunately this one does not. I want to tell you guys about how helpless I felt last night, to the point of tears. The report I received from Kris upon my return from work was that Zoe was kinda fussy all day, short cat naps here and there, not taking her usual 5 ounces of formula, not her usual self.

Kris had just left to go for a run after she fed Zoe and I stayed and watched her. She was playing on her new play center that Kris bought her. It’s pretty cool and has a boat theme with fish and what not. Zoe played fine there for about 10 minutes and eventually pooped. So I changed her. I laid her back down and she immediately was unhappy. She started to cry in a way I had not heard her cry before, not her usual “I’m hungry” cry, like she was in pain. I tried everything I knew to get her to stop. Picked her up, rocked her, gave her a binky, nothing worked.

This went on for about 15 minutes. I was absolutely beside myself. I had my daughter in my arms, screaming, and I could not help her. Before you know it we were both crying. Some father I was. I couldn’t help my own daughter to feel better. I have felt crappy in the past about no being able to help people or letting them down but never like this. I hit me to the core. I was an emotional wreck. It sucked, bad. I felt absolutely helpless. If I can’t help my daughter feel better, who can?

Of course, it turned out that she was just hungry. I made her a bottle and she drank it down like a Freshman guzzling a beer at a frat party. It was just weird that she was screaming bloody murder over being hungry. I think it had to do with her not feeling quite right all day. After Kris got home I told her what happened. She felt bad for me. Its funny how this stuff happens when my partner (and favorite security blanket) is inaccessible.

All is better now and she slept about 6.5 hours last night.

I love my daughter.

Categories: Rantings
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