If there was ever any doubt that Zoe was actually my daughter, (believe me its been there) the speculation has been put to bed. Zoe started eating solid food a few days ago. I tried to give her a Snickers bar but she wouldn’t have it, apparently shes a 3 musketeers kinda gal. Seriously, she started on rice cereal and, to my observations, appeared as though we were putting poop in her mouth when feeding her, which made for some great photos to be uploaded at a later date.

Anyway, after coming home from work yesterday, the Littlest General’s administrative lieutenant for the day, Grandma Bud gave me the full report. Including the fact that Zoe was eating plenty. She even said that LG was actually reaching out with both hands at the spoon and opening her mouth up wide, to facilitate her shoving the sppon and food in her mouth with reckless abandon. You go girl. I immediately had a picture of my brother Fred and I doing quite the same thing at a few chinese food buffets back east.

Yup, she’s an Oldenburg.

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Zoe had her 4 month check up yesterday at 3:45. Kris and I both went, although I was VERY apprehensive knowing that she was going to be receiving shots. Anyway, we were pleasantly told that Zoe was in the 90% for length and 75% for weight. We thought she was gonna be in the 200% for head size, after Great Aunt Ellen made us self conscious about the size of her “mellon”. Ha Ha, 75% for that too, Ellen. Not the orange on a toothpick as you had so kindly stated just a few days before.

Dr. Madrid was very informative. It was funny because he moved us from one room to another because it was hot in the first room. I thought it was fine but we moved anyway. The second room was like a meat locker and, after noticing that the doctor’s fly was down, I asked him if it felt especially cold in the room for him and he embarrasingly responded “shrinkage”.

Doc told us (semi-in-jest) that this was the best time to enjoy Zoe. He said that after 4 months, its pretty much downhill. He said her body is now getting rid of the antibodies passed along from her mother and forming her own, which, in other words, shes gonna start getting sick around 6 months. He went on to talk about when shes 18 months old, we’ll save her from dunking her head in the toilet and she’ll get mad at us for doing it. Then its Ridlin, make-up, boys, then she’ll wreck the car. Wow, he spends about 5 minutes with me and already knows shes gonna have ADHD. I like chocolate.

In the words of Woddy Herrelson’s character Roy Munson as he was spilling hot coffee on the baby in the stroller “treasure these precious times.” Thanks Roy, I just hope Zoe doesn’t get munsoned along the way!

On to the shots. 4 of them, 2 each thigh. Mom had to hold her down while nurse Ratched pumped her full of DTP and such. Dad had to turn away because come shot number 3, Zoe was screaming and dad was swallowing a big lump. She actually did really well and forgot about it a few minutes later. Although she required the comforts of Mom for the remainder of the day.

Here endith the lesson… Don’t get caught with your fly down …

Categories: Milestones
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A long time ago… (This morning)
In a galaxy far, far away… (Chandler actually)

Episode II – The General’s Trick

After a peaceful and pleasant episode I, the littlest General has planned a surprise attack on the rebel army and its leader Jedi Oldy-wan. General Zoe has decided to wage an unconventional type of warfare, implementation of the dirty bomb. The Federation and its leader, Darth Momma, ordered the rebel army to escort the general to her Headquarters (The fisher-price play boat) so that she could go over her battle plans for the upcoming skirmishes.

As the rebel army leader transported the General, it was apparent that something was not right, a sense of disruption in the force. Oldy-wan feared great peril in the near future. The general tried to hide her low grunts and groans while she was being transported. Upon arrival in the Generalâ??s quarters, Oldy-wan, left the general as ordered by Darth Momma. Soon after, Oldy-wan was summoned back to General Zoeâ??s control centre, only to be ambushed by the attack.

Luckily for the rebel army, Oldy-wan was armed with the latest and greatest anti-dirty bomb firepower, Pampers #2 and warm wipes, allowing the rebel army to fend of the attack with little casualties.

As for the General, she quickly ejected and is now planning more pugilistic maneuvers with the rebels.

A recent photo of General Zoe giving orders for her next attack. Many soliders perished to obtain this information for us….

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I have been havin trouble finding a good song to put my little Zoe slideshows to, until I found the Cranberries version of the LA’s song “There she goes” made famous in the movie “So I married an axe murderer.” (Scarily fitting).

The slideshow can be downloaded HERE I hope you enjoy it.

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Bumper (that’s our nickname for Zoe these days) just couldn’t wait to be 4 months old today so she celebrated by waking up at 1:45 AM this morning. Oh glory be, I was so excited for her that I got up too! This sucks. She has not woken up in the middle of the night for over a month now and I guess weve been the ones who were spoiled.

We can’t believe this has come so fast. Yeah, yeah, we know… Kris started back to work today and I’m home with Bumper all day (im scared) and mabye that’s why Zoe got up early, to let me know that she is still the Littlest General! Oh yes, it was 1:45 then 5:30 and I haven’t been back to sleep yet. She is sleeping soundly as I write this. Momma says I’m supposed to be asleep with her but I pumped myself full of premium coffee and the nerves won’t have it. It’s gonna be a long day, for both of us…

I’ll try to keep you posted.

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I’m just starting to get nervous, for the first time since little Zoe was about to be born. Wow, the responsibility that I so dreaded and now I enjoy and lavish. This new nervousness is based on my role as a Daddy changing. I am soon to be cast out of the comfort zone I have become so used to. The zone I am referring to is the one that allowed me to hand Zoe off to Momma at the slightest sign of malcontent. Oh, yes how I have loved it so. It was like training wheels on my bicycle of fatherhood, begging me to go faster and harder than before.

Well, the wheels are coming off. Momma is going back to work. In an effort to avoid the astronomical cost of daycare, we have decided to work opposite schedules to avoid paying daycare usury rates. We have been unable thusâ??far to avoid the Nutramigen money pit, so it seems this is the best way to avoid the high cost of Zoe. However, I fear this train is going to derail around day 3, when my nerves are frazzled.

I’ll keep you updated.

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Wow, Zoe is growing fast. Itâ??s scary to me how fast things are already moving so fast. Sheâ??s getting so big. Her personality is starting to show, which I love. The one thing that we are noticing is that, when Zoe is overtired. She is cranky! Cranky loosely translates, in this example, to screaming her head off, tears rolling, limbs a flying! She looks at you, while screaming her little head off, as if you have 3 heads and sheâ??s has no idea who you are.

This seems to come about in her at around 9:00 PM every night, if she gets over tired. It seems to me that her cranky machine is very easily lubricated with the lack of her mother in the evening hours, although Kris would comment that I am crazy. I have first hand proof that my theory is accurate, however, Momma says the data is flawed. There have been a few incidents (more like two) that I know of that Momma was there and Zoe got really cranky. Momma is due to go back to work in a few weeks and Daddy will be left all alone with no one to assist if Zoe cranks up the machine.

We are gong to try to put her down for a nap at a consistent time every afternoon for at least an hour, whether she sleeps or not, to try to avoid the nasty cranky time at night. Hopefully, it goes like her Momâ??s idea did; to give her a bath around 8:00 or 8:30, play with her shortly thereafter for a little while, finish up by topping of her tank with liquid platinum Nutramigen, and let her fall asleep in Mommaâ??s arms. This resulted in Zoe sleeping through the night! If it does we should se great success, it must, for failure is NOT an option.

Wish us luck.

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Zoe has unwittingly fallen into the trap of becoming something that she never wanted, nor intended to be – a conversational conduit. What the heck is that you ask? Well its really quite simple. Kris and I have begun to use Zoe as a “go between” to make comments, usually ones of a sarcastic or cutdownish tone, to each other. Although these comments are always spoken to Zoe ( and usually in baby talk tone), they are most certainly directed at each other.

One of our favorite time to use our little conduit is when travelling in the car. Whenever both of us are in the car together, one of us rides in the back seat with The Littlest General. This gives us easy access to follow her every order, but also to observe the other parent’s driving habits. One of our most commonly used conduit cut-down is “Momma (or Daddy) is driving CRAZY, huh?” Oh yeah, often times the conversational use of the conduit involies a question directed at Zoe, knowing full well that she will not answer. Everyone knows that silence implies consent.

Driving is not the only time we use our little conduit. We often times use her as a commentary on each others parenting skills, or more directly, thier lack there of. When Zoe cries for example, its so easy to throw down the old “Momma’s neglecting you, huh?” or “I guess your not as important to Daddy as his computer”.

As you can see, the cutdowns, sarcastic tones, and brutal commentaries flow freely and quickly like electrons through our little conduit.

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Thats right, you heard it here first. Zoe really started talking it up last night. We were at a party for my friend Mike Lee’s 36th birthday (welcome to 36 Mike) and all the people talking must have got her to want to really talk. She made more sounds in about an hour there than she made in the last 2 weeks at home. Except the crys of course.

Then today, about a half an hour ago, she was in the kitchen with Momma and she started talking up a real storm. It made me tear up just to hear her make such happy sounds, coos and squeaks. I’m such a baby. I thought to myself “this is another one of those milestones that show me how fast she is growing.” In other words, she is changing so much in just the little time she’s been here that it makes me exited and scared about how fast things are going to change from here on out.

A few days ago, she really stared to use her hands with tiny bits of dexterity. This morning she held her bottle by herself for a few moments. Moments that will last only in my short to mid-term memory. I think thats the scary part – the knowledge that eventually I will be forgetting all these precious moments that I hold so dear right now.

Life comes at you fast —–

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