Just got done updating the site with the latest versions of the blog and photo software. I made some design changes as well, hopefully you like them. Thanks to Tony for the inside scoop on getting the header image to fade in and out.

The directory that this blog sits in on the server has changed so you need to update your rss feed to the following URL:

http://zoestation.com/?feed=atom

Eric

Categories: Rantings
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So there we were. In the pool. It was my turn with Zoe. I have her for lessons on Tuesdays and Momma has her on Thursdays. I went into this lesson knowing that Zoe was going to be dunked under the water today. I was good with it. Halfway through class we were told by our instructor, Miss Erica, to grab the strainers. These are just plastic colanders like the ones you use to strain spaghetti.

We were to sing �??It�??s raining It�??s Pouring�?� as we strain the water on their heads, to get them used to having water in their face and eyes. I will be honest (I�??ll hear it from Momma later, after she reads this) that when I observed her using the strainer with Zoe, I felt she was using it a little timidly, not soaking Zoe enough. I kept this to myself. Now I had one in my hand knowing she was going under today. I, needless to say, used it quite liberally, drenching poor Zoe. This may have been the starting point of the problem. Zoe didn�??t seem to care for it much based on her responses. No cries, just an unpleasant look in her watery eyes.

Here we go. Put up the strainers says Miss Erica. We are going to put them under now. Up until this point in class, for the past several lessons, we have been doing these little swooshing drills. What are those you ask? Well, they go like this. You hold your child facing you and you swoosh them from back and forth, dipping them in progressively more water. There is a cadence that goes with it. �??One Shoulder, Two Shoulder, Three Ear, Four Ear.�?� This is then repeated three times per session. Today it was to be modified. On �??Four�?� we are to dunk the child�??s head all the way under, in the same swooshing stroke, then give them one wipe down the face and lots of praise, definitely no �??oh my goodness, are you OK?�?� kinda stuff.. Also, for those of you who do not know, for babies, you are to blow in their face to get them to shut their eyes and hold their breath right before the dousing commences. I�??m good. I�??m ready.

Then came the disclaimer from Miss Erica. It was all about �??water intoxication�?� that can be caused by children ingesting too much water form being dunked.

Side note:

WTF?? Can I do anything in this world? Can I receive a service or training or do anything without first getting a disclaimer shoved down my throat? I hate them. I hated this one especially because it scared me.

The symptoms of this �??intoxication” are your child acting intoxicated, poor motor skills, balance problems, wandering eyes, etc. I thought to myself, how the heck am I gonna be able to tell if she�??s got it? Doesn�??t that describe all 7 month old children?

So now I�??m scared. Miss Erica told everyone to begin, which they did. Not me. Not the 6�??4�?�, 12 year police veteran. No, he just looked at his daughter and froze. He couldn�??t do it. I couldn�??t do it. I was making entry into the homicide suspect�??s house and I froze in the door. Help me, I screamed (on the inside) but quietly said �?? I can�??t do it�?� so that only Miss Erica could hear me. Miss Erica replied �??Do you want me to do it?�?� �??I just handed her Zoe feeling absolutely horrible. Miss Erica was chuckling a little and started the swooshing. �??One Shoulder, Two Shoulder�?��?� As this happened a crescendo of fight or flight syndrome begain to overwhelm me. I pictured myself grabbing Zoe mid swoosh and running as far away as possible, far away and safe.�?� Time slowed down to a stand still. I�??m still there as I type. Seeing it. Hating it. �??�?� Four!�?� NO!!! Miss Erica gave a big blow in Zoe�??s face and dunked her under. It felt like she took her to the bottom of the deep end and held her under for a week. In reality it was probably 2 inches under and half a second until she was back out.

Zoe was great. I was the baby. A jack-ass and, according to Miss Erica, the only dad who has ever froze at the moment of truth. She said usually it was quite the opposite. HEY EVERYONE! Come look at the big jack-ass in the pool. Zoe didn�??t ingest any water, didn�??t cry and received copious amounts of praise from Miss Erica. Good job Zoe. Now it�??s Daddy�??s turn. �??One- Two-Three-Four�?� This time its going real fast, I did it though, she made it. Of course, my verbal praise was counter-balanced by the look on my face that clearly was screaming �??Are you OK?�?� and �??I�??m sorry for doing that.�?� Zoe started to whimper a bit, so I put her over my shoulder (so she couldn�??t see my face) and gave her praise. She was smiling in no time. Apparently a Mom from the other side of the pool did see my face and came right over and exclaimed �??Don�??t worry, she won�??t remember any of this.�?� HEY EVERYONE! Come look at the REALLY BIG jack-ass in the pool.

And of course, as if it wasn�??t bad enough, Zoe started hiccupping after her lesson. I told Miss Erica and she laughed out loud. She assured me that Zoe had not ingested any water at all. I told her that Zoe looked like one of those drunks from cartoon and that I thought I could even see bubbles popping over her head.

You really can’t make this stuff up….too funny!

Categories: Rantings
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What a fast 7 months this has been. Zoe turned 7 months yesterday and it is amazing. She is absolutely trucking down the hallways and from room to room crawling! She also gets some serious air in her little jumper that hangs in the doorway. Kyle cranked up the height in it so just her toes touch the floor when she is stationary. This causes her to do some wicked jumping. I laugh out loud watching her do it. Last night, I put her down on the floor in her room and walked to the kitchen to make up some bottles for her ( I curse and bless Nutramigen at the same time), I turned to get something from another cabinet and bumped into her on the floor, in the kitchen. Couldn�??t have been more than 2 minutes fro her to get from her room to my location. Amazing. Childproofing to commence immediately! When I picked her up from the tile floor, her outfit looked like a used up Swiffer, complete with macaroni, dog hair, and some cereal flakes. Soon I will figure out how to get her to cut the grass while she crawls! Her visible inquisitiveness is really, realty neat. When she picks things up, she analyzes them, turning them over and checking them out from all sides. All with a really neat look of wonderment in her eyes.

Let�??s talk about the word NO. Momma and I have started to use this word with her when she gets into things like her wastepaper basket and her nightlight and especially when she tries to roll over when we are trying to change her. Zoe�??s reactions are quite amusing and frustrating at the same time. After you utter the word, she looks at as if you just told her the formula to calculate wattage, then goes about doing exactly what she was doing before you bothered her with your non-sense.

Categories: Milestones
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In order to maintain some type of order and universal understanding here I feel it is necessary to give some people definitions of the things pertaining to Zoe that I talk about. Most parents can sympathize with me knowing that words they often times use are made up and fit into their own personal baby talk code. This, of course, varies from one family to another, making it very difficult to follow at times. Much like hearing someone in the military talking while using acronyms that anyone not in the military just doesn�??t understand.

Here goes:

Bumper �?? This is our nickname for Zoe. It originated as Bumpkin, which I coined shortly after she was born. The reason was because when she was newborn, she just sort of hung out not doing much, like a country bumpkin. This stuck until I looked the word up in a dictionary and got this definition:

An awkward, unsophisticated person; a yokel.

It then quickly changed to Bumper. Which I sometimes shorten to Bump or even alter to Bump-ooh.

Bink (or Binky) �?? This is simply her pacifier. Of which she has no less than 25. Momma actually has a jar in the kitchen, like in a flour and sugar set, that holds them all.

Bowie �?? This is her bottle, filled with the most expensive legal powder ever created by mankind. I wish the Discovery Channel would do a �??How its Made�?� episode on Nutramigen. That way we could see for certain that apparently particles from Mars are actually in the ingredients. Otherwise, we�??re getting fleeced.

Lovie �?? This is a small, soft, knit cotton blanket. Zoe has 1 in pink and one in lavender. They are called lovies because Momma said so. Seriously, these little gems are quickly becoming a secondary pacifier for Zoe in that when she is trying to sleep or calm down, a good grip on one of them can do wonders.

Kandoo( pronounced �??can do�?�) �?? This is a name brand for a particular type of pre-moistened wipe. Momma bought some of them a few months ago. They have a neat little variety of very nice scents. After all her non-bottle meals, I exclaim to her �??Kandoo!�?� so she knows I�??m going to wipe her face. She hates, I mean HATES getting her face wiped. After a wiping I usually let her play with it for a few minutes. She�??ll put it in her mouth and stuff. A few days ago, I actually looked at the picture on the little container. Check it out here. The little froggy is wiping his ass with it, and then throwing it into the toilet. WTF? Gave me kind of a sick feeling. �??These aren�??t for her face, they’re for her ass!�?� I told Momma who replied �??they’re just wipes.�?� In her usual calming tone. Still, WTF? Froggy is wiping his butt- RIGHT ON THE BOX!!

Hopefully, these will help and if you see posting here using these words. And if you are in a public Men�??s room and hear a voice exclaim �??Kan-doo!�?� It might be me trying one out.

Categories: Rantings
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Jane! Stop this crazy thing called Zoe! You heard right, Bumper is now officially crawling. Once she figured out the order of movement, and she was able to go eight rotations before rest, it was official. As if sitting up didn�??t come fast enough (insert heavy sarcasm) now she is motoring across the house! She is my little explorer now. First she braved the threshold of her door, which goes from carpet to tile in the hallway. She paused initially to contemplate the change in texture by giving a few good open handed slaps to the tile. Now she pops over to the tile like nobody�??s business. It is exciting and scary. I told my buddy KJ at work that she was crawling now and he asked if I had child proofed the house yet. I told him not yet and another friend at work, Chris, commented �?? yeah, its only your daughter�??s life.�?� Thanks. That is on the first order of business, believe me.

I�??m scared. I�??m very scared. I sit quietly in her room watching one of my favorite shows �??How its Made” on the Discovery Channel after placing her on her little play mat. I�??m not halfway through the forging of steel balls that will be the backbone of the ball bearings they are making when I look up to see nothing but Zoe�??s torso in the door way, heading north. Just torso, legs and feet, then just legs and feet, then just toes, and then she�??s gone. Stealth is my main problem. I have a few ideas. One is to tie jingle bells to her feet, but I�??m sure my dumb ass will tune them out of the dogs will think she�??s a big pink play toy. Bad Idea. Wait, I have another. You know, keeping the tile floor clean and dog hair free can be tough with 3 dogs in the house. I am going to call Carter�??s (baby clothes) and Swiffer (floor cleaning tools) and have them develop an outfit for crawling babies that cleans as they crawl. She�??ll be like a little Roomba (unattended robot floor cleaner), She�??ll be my Zoe-oomba!

Categories: Milestones
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We got there a few days early. Our beach house was not available until Saturday and we arrived VERY early Friday morning, so early that it was only an hour from Thursday. See my previous post here for info about that night�??s milestone. I couldn�??t wait to show Zoe the beach in Saturday but I did. We mostly hung out at Grandma Shirley�??s rental house until it was time to move to the beach. My Dad and Step mom were sharing the penthouse with us right on the water. They drove out on Saturday. Fred and Rachel (My oldest brother and his wife and my nephews had a small beach rental for just a few days and were already there when we moved to the beach.

When we traveled over, I took Zoe to the beach right away and was so excited to watch her contemplate the ocean. Whether or not that is what the look in her eyes was, remains a mystery. She could have been, for all I know, contemplating a poop. But I enjoyed the moment none the less. I even told her, �??This is the Pacific Ocean, someday I�??ll show you the Atlantic Ocean, too.�?�

The week started off OK. We were all systems go. Fred and his family hung out and we had a good time with all the family being together. I have fun with my nephews Alec and Jake but unfortunately am not able to see them as much as I would like.

Sunday morning we got up and I took Zoe for a walk to our favorite donut shop that is about 8 blocks form the beach house. It is a perfect walk distance and the donuts are big, VERY tasty and cheap. Best donuts ever. I even got the �??what a cute baby�?? discount. If you have a chance to try their apple fritters, do! They are 3 times the size and twice the flavor of the Starbucks ones at half the price. OK, the do look like a big cow pie but still are good eating.

The next big event of the week was finally taking Zoe down to the beach for the day. Momma bought a little inflatable play pool that I filled with fresh water each morning so it could warm up in the sun. All I can say is WOW! Zoe had a great time on the beach and loved the surf. The water was very warm for this time of year. There was one moment when I was putting her down in the water and picking her back up as the waves came in. Well, in classic Oldenburg fashion, I was telling myself how easy this was when a second wave came in just past the one I was concentrating on and SPASH, the wave rolled over her head soaking her and giving her a mouthful. I picked her up and said very, very quietly, �??don�??t cry, don�??t cry.�?� Because Momma was a few feet away observing the whole thing. Zoe gasped a few breaths and started smiling again. Whew! Dodged a bullet there. I thought Zoe�??s mouthful of sea water was gonna get Daddy a mouthful from Momma.

Other key points of the trip-

I got sick as a dog and was up all night on Sunday night with a gastro-intestinal issue. All I can say is �??how the @#$% can bulemics do it?�?� What a nightmare. I shook it off by Monday evening.

We went to the San Diego Zoo and Zoe had a BLAST! She loves animals.

The trip was too short, as usual. But I sure am glad to be back in the Arizona oven!

Lots of pics in the July album if you havent already seen them.

Categories: Rantings
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Bumper, our nickname for Zoe, has starting eating some small finger foods following the timely appearance of her two bottom teeth. Particularly, she has started eating these little fruit puffs by Geber called, obviously enough �??Finger Foods. These look like little cereal puffs with one minor difference: they dissolve in your mouth when you eat them. Bumper loves them and eats them now quite enjoyably. She does however, have a small dexterity issue, negotiating the puffs from her finger to her mouth. She almost looks like a magician performing slight of hand with the little puffs.

It�??s hysterical to see her try to put them in her mouth and lose them, only to be found in her lap or, my favorite, in the palm of her hand. I had her at my Dad�??s last night and my step mom�??s friend was holding Zoe in her lap at the table. Zoe was trying to eat these little puffs and looked like a drunken lady eating popcorn!

Categories: Milestones
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The day before we left for Carlsbad, Kris noted to me that Zoe was not fully able to keep herself completely steady while sitting up. She could sit up but only between our legs and would fall any direction except forward if not closely supported. Kris was upset because she was hoping that – by this time – Zoe would be able to, allowing us to sit her in the sand to play and what not.

The night we arrived in Carlsbad (1:00 AM) Zoe was already awake and wanted to stay that way for an hour or so. I went right to sleep but Grandmas Bud and Shirley, along with Kris stayed up with her. It was during this magical hour that Zoe finally got her balance and was able to keep herself seated on her own. Naturally, I was a bit upset to hear the news in the morning and was anxious to see.

When I did see this feat of amazement, I had what Kris calls �??another Daddy moment�?� when I was overcome with both joy and sadness to see this development in my little girl. It screws me up emotionally for a few minutes, this struggle between the happiness of watching my baby develop and the pain of how it�??s coming so fast.

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* WPG2 CANNOT LOCATE GALLERY2 ITEM ID 1991 *Ok, Zoe had her very first swimming lesson today. Mind you this was not her first time in a pool by a stretch, she has spent time in Great Aunt Ellen�??s and Her Grandma and Grandpa�??s pool as well. She loves the water.

Anyway, I took her to her first lesson because Momma was at work, bummer for her and me as it turns out. Grandma and Grandpa also showed up and took some really good pics you can see here.

Momma was nice enough to lay out Zoe�??s suit, swimmy (a small diaper made for swimming that doesn�??t fill up with water like a traditional disposable diaper) and a towel for her and I. I got home from work to find it. I got to the class early as instructed by the ways and means committee. Upon arrival, I realized that the class was outside and Zoe had not been sun-blocked. I obliged. Class started with a meeting from the Lead Instructor who went over some house rules. 1. Apply sun block at least 30 minutes before class, not 3 minutes before like I had so brilliantly done, so it can soak in. Fine, whatever. 2. No disposable swimmies, just like the one Zoe had on. Crap. No literally crap, that�??s why, so it wont seep out. Fine.

On to class flow as pointed out by Instructor Happy Face. Singing and lots of it. At least 3 songs 3 times each song. WTF?? I didn�??t sign up for this. Momma never told me this. Crap! What if I don�??t know the lyrics, I�??ll be a laughing stock. Fine, I�??ll muddle my way through, Splashing also, lots of it, and floating and what not.

Zoe was having a ball splashing and playing in the water more than any of the kids, honestly. It was cool. I think because she had prior pool time. Now for the singing, crap, crap, crap. First song �?? Ring around the rosy. OK. I know this one, we all sing together. Made it. What a breeze, what was I worried about? Fun too. Daddy dint have such luck with the second song. Its called �??Twinkle Twinkle Little Star�?� that goes like this:

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.

Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

Easy right? Heres my version as it went during class:

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.

Something Something blah blah blah,
Hum hum la la la, the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

I felt like an ass especially with the 17 year old training assistant watching me botch the lyrics. She looked at me like I was a bad person for not knowing them. I felt like a guy in church singing a hymn when I lost my spot on the page. This sucks.

Third song – ABC’s. Nailed it. Thank you very much.

Bottom Line:

Class was short and my kid was the best swimmer. The End.

Categories: Milestones
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We are now back from our trip to Carlsbad. It went too fast. We drove back Saturday night. We left at about 8:00 PM and arrived a little after 1:00 AM. Zoe slept for 90% of the time. I highly recommend travelling at night for anyone who has small kids, so they can sleep.

I uploaded all the pics from the trip as well as some old stuff from June that I never got up.

I am trying to work on a post about our trip and will post it as soon as I get it done. In the meantime check out this pic of Zoe I took before we left.

* WPG2 CANNOT LOCATE GALLERY2 ITEM ID 1614 *

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