In order to maintain some type of order and universal understanding here I feel it is necessary to give some people definitions of the things pertaining to Zoe that I talk about. Most parents can sympathize with me knowing that words they often times use are made up and fit into their own personal baby talk code. This, of course, varies from one family to another, making it very difficult to follow at times. Much like hearing someone in the military talking while using acronyms that anyone not in the military just doesn�??t understand.

Here goes:

Bumper �?? This is our nickname for Zoe. It originated as Bumpkin, which I coined shortly after she was born. The reason was because when she was newborn, she just sort of hung out not doing much, like a country bumpkin. This stuck until I looked the word up in a dictionary and got this definition:

An awkward, unsophisticated person; a yokel.

It then quickly changed to Bumper. Which I sometimes shorten to Bump or even alter to Bump-ooh.

Bink (or Binky) �?? This is simply her pacifier. Of which she has no less than 25. Momma actually has a jar in the kitchen, like in a flour and sugar set, that holds them all.

Bowie �?? This is her bottle, filled with the most expensive legal powder ever created by mankind. I wish the Discovery Channel would do a �??How its Made�?� episode on Nutramigen. That way we could see for certain that apparently particles from Mars are actually in the ingredients. Otherwise, we�??re getting fleeced.

Lovie �?? This is a small, soft, knit cotton blanket. Zoe has 1 in pink and one in lavender. They are called lovies because Momma said so. Seriously, these little gems are quickly becoming a secondary pacifier for Zoe in that when she is trying to sleep or calm down, a good grip on one of them can do wonders.

Kandoo( pronounced �??can do�?�) �?? This is a name brand for a particular type of pre-moistened wipe. Momma bought some of them a few months ago. They have a neat little variety of very nice scents. After all her non-bottle meals, I exclaim to her �??Kandoo!�?� so she knows I�??m going to wipe her face. She hates, I mean HATES getting her face wiped. After a wiping I usually let her play with it for a few minutes. She�??ll put it in her mouth and stuff. A few days ago, I actually looked at the picture on the little container. Check it out here. The little froggy is wiping his ass with it, and then throwing it into the toilet. WTF? Gave me kind of a sick feeling. �??These aren�??t for her face, they’re for her ass!�?� I told Momma who replied �??they’re just wipes.�?� In her usual calming tone. Still, WTF? Froggy is wiping his butt- RIGHT ON THE BOX!!

Hopefully, these will help and if you see posting here using these words. And if you are in a public Men�??s room and hear a voice exclaim �??Kan-doo!�?� It might be me trying one out.

Categories: Rantings
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