Ok. It�??s on now. Is that how you want it? Fine. Two can play at that game. Her indiscriminant tendencies played right into my plan for revenge. Here�??s what I�??m talking about:

About a week ago, my latest copy of Parachutist magazine arrived in the mail. Of course, I brought it directly to its proper stowage, the bathroom. I read a little bit of it but did not get to read some of the articles? Why, do you ask? Because sometime between my �??sittings�?�, Momma decided to give Zoe a crack at my shiny new magazine. This is exceptionally underhanded due to the fact that Momma, as well as I, have witnessed the sheer pain and destruction that Zoe can lay upon a magazine, several times. Zoe burns through the pages of a magazine like a beaver through a pile of dry twigs. Ripping, tearing, chewing. Magazine shavings flying off behind her as she rips away! She loves it. Zoe loves ripping up magazines. Its necessary, however, to watch her closely as she sometimes rips tiny little pieces of the magazine and puts them in her mouth. Momma or I simply declare �??small pieces�?� as we remove them from her immediate vicinity.

OK, fine, so much for Parachutist, August 2006 edition. Well, guess what also arrived in the mail in the not so distant past: Parenting, July 2006. Left out in the magazine basket in the family room. Hey Zoe, wanna play in the living room with daddy? Sure you do. Why don�??t I just put your curious little self down right next to the big pretty basket. Whoops, there she goes, over the baskets edge to retrieve the magazine placed so coincidentally right on top! That�??s my girl. Turn on the magazine shredder.

Good, now we were even. For about 2 days! That�??s right, 2 days later the new issue of Parenting arrived. And I�??m still stuck reading shampoo bottles in the bathroom.

Categories: Rantings
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