Here I go again. Another story about an excursion gone sour. I will preface the story by saying this: Zoe was an absolute dream during the whole trip. If one thing went right, it was her. On with the pain.

First off, Kris and I both got sick (wicked cough, aches and chest congestion) two days before we left and had it the whole trip, and still have it, Kris, 5 times as bad as mine. The whole time Zoe was cooped up with our convalescing butts, she never showed one sign of sickness or slowdown. You go girl!

Kris found a deal from a posting at her work for a timeshare week in Carlsbad for way more than 50% off the regular price so we had to go again. The week was from August 26^th through September 3^rd. We left in our new car (which has been great) at about 10 AM on Sunday. The plan was to wait until Zoe was ready for her mid morning nap and time it so she would sleep in the car. She did. We stopped in Yuma for an hour or so and let her stretch her legs, then back in the car and she slept most of the rest of the way. Great kid. No fuss, no muss. Very uneventful drive.

We arrived and checked in to the Carlsbad Seapointe Resort, which is about 5 miles south of our usual hangout. The girl working the counter gave us the choice of 3 rooms. Needless to say, after the week was over, we realized that our choice was the equivalent of picking curtain #3 and getting the trunk full of rusty nails on �??Let�??s Make a Deal�?�. The counter maiden advised us that room #101 was the best choice with a baby because it was on the �??quiet end�?� of the complex. Great, we�??ll take it! Thanks for all your help! (insert ridiculous amounts of sarcasm here) We went up to our room, which was on the very end of the building along the north side, right next to the clubhouse. Did I mention that a train track ran just east of the Resort? It does, and it runs from 5:30 AM to 10:20 PM. Great for the baby! We were initially pleased; there were two bedrooms two baths, a full kitchen, and even a Jacuzzi bathtub in the master bedroom. Sweet!

We arrived late in the afternoon so we went over to Kris�?? grandma Shirley�??s summer place for dinner. She made some really good stew. It was amazing because our first trip to Carlsbad this year, Zoe sat up on her own for the first time while at Shirley�??s place and now she was crawling around, pulling herself up and standing while holding on to stuff. What a difference.

We headed back to the room after dark to put Zoe down and go to bed ourselves. After we put Zoe down, we headed into the master bedroom to slumber in darkness. We shut off the lights, but they seemed to stay on. It was literally like high noon in the room! The light coming in from the two windows was like sunshine. I looked out of the room directly over our bed and gazed upon, not one but two, florescent lights that must have been on loan from the top of the Luxor in Las Vegas, affixed to the wall of the clubhouse. I think a few ships have actually hit the clubhouse in past storms, mistaking the lights for a lighthouse. Has no one ever stayed in this room before? Was this rrom specifically designed for blind people? They are the only people who wouldn�??t notice the light. You could actually perform a surgical procedure in our bedroom room at midnight, it was so well lit. I tossed and turned pissed off until about 10:20 when the train came by and woke up Zoe! Sweet.

The next day, I complained to the counter maiden who advised me that she would notify maintenance who would �??see what they could do.�?� How many times have you heard that line? It is basically saying, �??you go away, nothing will get done about your problem but you will have a false sense of security that I actually give a rats ass about your problem. Have a nice day�?� And of course, nothing was done. Kris actually had to purchase tin foil to put up in the window to block the light.

This same day I found myself killing five flies in the room. Keep in mind that the A/C was on due to the humidity. The next day, five more. This was the day that the smoke detectors (three in the room ) all malfunctioned going off twice that day, each of which were perfectly timed to wake up Zoe from her naps. A call to the front desk summoned maintenance who came up and replaced all the batteries. As if to mock us, the detectors again malfunctioned the next morning when Zoe was trying to take her morning nap. This time, maintenance responded and removed all the smoke detectors for repair, stating he would be back later to install the fixed one. Can you guess what he did when he returned? You got it! He woke up Zoe! Ok, that problem was fixed.

Remember the flies? They just kept on appearing. I found no less then ten of them in the window in Zoe�??s room. Rage set in quickly. I eventually found an infestation of some type of larvae in the valance of the sliding glass door, so again I called the front desk who sent up maintenance. When the guy came in, he said �??hey aren�??t you the guys with the smoke detector problem?�?� With a gritting smile we replied �??yes�?� and he responded �??Wow, you guys aren�??t having very good luck, huh?�?� I almost snapped right there. Deep breathes (which caused me to cough even more) held me back form the edge.

Remember the nice advice about the quiet end of the complex? Well here are some of activities that took place in the clubhouse that week. Let�??s see, Thursday night was a conference for some type of get rich quick type, pyramid scheme. 50 or so people making noise �??till about 9:00PM. Friday was wedding #1 that lasted until 10 PM and Saturday night was wedding #2 that went until 10:00 PM. Fine, its Saturday night let them have their fun. We stayed up until 10:30. When we began our slumber in our tin foiled palace, we were awoken at about 11:00 PM by the maintenance crew moving the furniture around in the clubhouse. Where was this furniture during the weddings? Leaning outside, against the wall that our headboard was butted up against. The good news is that it only took them half an hour to finish.

Have you ever seen a guy standing on top of a well lit resort clubhouse with tin foil on his head, a fly swatter in one hand and a rifle in the other screaming like a malfunctioning smoke detector? The good people of The Carlsbad Seapointe Resort almost did.

At checkout time, I was relieved to be leaving this God awful nightmare. I approached the counter to drop off the keys. The car was packed and Kris and the baby were ready to go. The counter maiden informed us that we needed to pay a five $5.30 service fee. Ok, I told her I�??d be right back, my wallet was in the car. She stopped me. Ah, excuse me, sir, that�??s per day. �??What for?�?�, I asked. Room cleaning, maintenance, etc. Room cleaning? They cleaned our room once. I screamed at the top of my lungs, jumped over the counter and bludgeoned the counter maiden with a broken smoke detector, in my mind, of course, as I quietly walked to the car with my pants pulled down. I returned with cash for the service fees. Ah, sir, plus phone calls. No problem, I didn�??t make any phone calls. We used our cell phones for everything. �??You get charged for in coming calls as well, and anything outside of a seven mile radius is considered long distance.�?� So listen to this: every time I called the front desk to complain about our flies or smoke detectors or Luxor lights, I was charged. I was also charged when the maintenance supervisor called me to ask if the fly problem was taken care of to my satisfaction. When Kris grandma called us, from more than seven miles away, I was charged for long distance rates. Again, lots of breathing and coughing to stave off the rage. The only reason I didn�??t complain was because the time shore was not in our name but rest assured, if it was, I would probably still be awaiting bail from the Carlsbad city jail.

The three things that were great the whole trip:

1. Zoe �?? She had a blast at the ocean and in the pool.
2. The weather �?? we hit the beach 6 of the days.
3. Leaving �?? thank God.

Categories: Rantings
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