I am very excited to tell everyone about Zoe’s first birthday. I will start by telling everyone how quickly it came upon us. I can hardly believe that she is already a year old. This year has been the best and fastest moving of my life! I thank God for my little bumper! I started telling everyone I know that Christmas Eve no longer exists, its now officially “Zoe’s Birthday.” Kris feaed, as did I, that Zoe wouod be cheated out of gifts for her birthday by the old, “this is for her birthday and X-mas” combination gift trick. Which someone in our family wasted no time in doing already. Oh well.
Anyway, on to the story…

When Zoe woke up on her first birthday, she was happy to see both her Mommy and Daddy standing over her crib. We took her out and into the family room where she was able to gaze upon a room filled with birthday balloons, presents, and a beautiful red velvet cake with pink frosting touting the phrase ” Happy 1st Birthday Zoe” that Kris made herself and even did the lettering, too. Unfortunately, that cake still sits, untouched, in its glass cake holder, awaiting its certain demise via Zoe’s hands. Why, you ask? Ill tell you in a bit. I want to still revel in the fun part of her day.

Zoe got a little push car from her mother that she can ride on or push from behind. Zoe loved being pushed on it and loved pushing it up and down the hallway. After playing with her new cart, and other fun kids toys she received, she was whisked away to her high chair for fresh made pancakes and bananas from Mom. She gobbled the sweet cakes down in short order (no pun intended, but definitely funny!) and was off for more play time. Momma put her in a very cute pant/dress outfit that her grandma, Ya-Ya, got for her. a few hours and a full bowie (bottle) later, she was ready for a nap. She had a great nao and woke up to her smiling dad.

Kris had some errands to run so we (Kris, Uncle Fred and I) headed out for a quick lunch and a stop at Target. I couldn’t contain the joy i felt playing with my little girl, spinning, swinging and flipping her over while waiting in the checkout line. No, I didn’t drop her, but thanks for the nice thought (heavy sarcasm). She was in a great mood as we strapped her in to the car seat. no, we didn’t wreck either. Halfway home, is when it happened. I will use the words of my favorite comedian, Brian Regan. Everything on Zoe’s inside, wanted to be on her outside. She started vomiting in the car something awful. I was driving the car and looked back in the rear view to see what was happening. My poor girl emptied the contents of her stomach all over herself. I later, in jest, described it as looking like “snakes in a can,” those joke party favors. When we got home, diarrhea soon followed.

I must say that seeing my daughter vomit is a very sad feeling. She has a look in her eyes like she doesn’t understand what is happening, and I can’t explain it to her. It hurts.

Zoe is still sick even today. She tried so hard to have fun that night when our entire family came over for our annual X-mas Eve, excuse me, Zoe’s Birthday party. She tried so hard to have a good time on Christmas Day as well, but she was just so listless and dehydrated that she could barely stand up.

Today, she is showing slow signs of improvement. Hopefully, she will get to smash that nice cake her mom made for her before it spoils.

Ill post the pics we have shortly…

Categories: Milestones
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As my wife was leaving for work the other day, she suggested that I take Zoe to the park down the street. She said that if I take her down there for half an hour or so, she would be in heaven. I asked Kris where the diaper bag was as I was leaving and she told me that she usually just takes the sippy cup and a ball down with Zoe to the park. I listened to her suggestion, which proved to be my biggest mistake that day.

I loaded up Zoe in the jogging stroller and put a soccer ball in the basket that hangs under it. We headed down to the park in quite a gleeful manner. Just her and I spending the afternoon together, blissfully unaware that my demeanor would be quite the opposite on the way home. We arrived at the park and headed right for the slide and swings, after spending some time at each activity, we did some climbing in the jungle gym. Zoe is working on climbing up onto things and progressing along very nicely. While walking in the sand that covers the play area, Zoe spotted a black dog. I glanced over and noted that it was a black lab or lab mix whoâ??s owner was pleasing it by throwing a tennis ball in various directions for the dog to chase, tackle and return. Zoe made a bee line for the dog. Not surprising at all, she headed in the dogâ??s direction as quickly as her little legs could take her.

When Zoe got up to the dog she was in heaven. The dog slobbered on her in short order as she patted the dog on its head. The woman walking the dog was very nice and we chatted about her just moving here from New York. She and her husband lived in the apartments next to the park. Her husband works in the same field as I do so I got kinda wrapped up in the conversation.

I kept Zoe in sight as she ran around with the nice lab mix. Before I knew what hit me, Zoe was about 20 yards away, picking up what I thought was a pine cone. I think I had pine cone in my head because of the talk of back east, where I grew up. I know what you are thinking – there are pine cones in a park in Chandler, AZ? No , there are not. It was about the furthest possible thing from a pine cone. Guessed what it was yet? Poop. Dog poop.

I was asked by a friend after telling them this story if the poop was fresh or hard crusted. Well, let me just say it was hard crusted on top but Zoe was able to find the soft, fleshy, underbelly of each if the three pieces she brought to me. As I realized what she was carrying, I quickly knocked it out of her hand, yelling “Ucky!”

Zoe then began to move her poop laden fingers towards her mouth. Seeing my reaction was like watching a Secret Service Agent in slow motion diving in front of a bullet aimed for the President, all the time slowly screaming ” NOOOOOOOOOO!!!” I was able to thwart the attack as I frantically wiped her hand off on my shoulder.

After this unfortunate event, I immediately rushed home, poop shoulder and all, to decontaminate myself and the little poop collector. I don’t even think I said another word to the nice lady in the park.

I think I’ll take the diaper bag with me from now on.

Categories: Rantings
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