As you know, we recently converted Zoe’s crib to a bed. Well, last night was the first night I was alone with her over night; Momma is working third shift at the hospital. Bummer.

Anyway, I put Zoe to bed in our bed and laid with her for 15 minutes or so, until she fell asleep. The once she was out, I transfered her to her bad an hour later, so I could go to sleep. This is contrary to advice that EVERY child development book on the planet gives on putting a child to bed.

I wrote that so you know that I know. Remember, acceptance is the first step to recovery.

I made sure I put the monitor on before I fell into a peaceful sleep. I awoke at 5:45 and decided to get up to use the bathroom and when I stepped out of bed, I felt her lovey (her blanket) on my foot. I immediately thought “Did I drop her lovey when I transferred her? Oh – My – God! Did she hafta sleep all night with no lovey? I didn’t hear her on the monitor! Poor Zoe, I fell terrible!”

Then I started to walk towards her room to bring her her lovey when my foot bumped into the dog and I looked down, and it wasn’t the dog, IT WAS ZOE! Curled up on the floor around the pedestal of the fan. I FELT HORRIBLE! “How long had she been there? Did she try to wake me up and couldn’t? How long did she try?” I took a picture of her to capture the memory, so she could turn it in to CPS (Child Protective Services) when she gets older.

My poor daughter slept on the floor next to my bed, for how long? hours? days? weeks?

I told Momma the story when she got home from work, and she felt terrible too. I showed her the picture and she was speechless…

Categories: Rantings
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